Well, I just realized that Jordan is hardly in any of the pictures that I posted and it's not because I'm purposefully trying to keep him out of the pictures, it just seems that he quietly slips out of frame right before I snap. You know the old
I'm almost a teenager, my mom is crazy and hopefully nobody sees her trying to get pictures of me....? Yes, a teenager. In just six short weeks, I will become a full card carrying (literally....he gets ID cards at the Y and for the neighborhood association) mother of a teenage boy. I'm slightly diffused by the fact that he is, indeed a
boy and not a teenage
girl. That would be another situation entirely, I recognize that blessing for what it is...although I will get my chance eventually.....
times two.
Somewhere along this road I've called life the past thirteen years, my baby has metamorphed into this smiling young man you see above.
When did this happen?
While I wasn't looking, my pudgy little baby boy has grown into a truly remarkable young man. A lot of times people close to me will hear me grudgingly complain about his absentmindedness or lack of responsiblity....and not often enough do I outwardly focus on his positive attributes....I just never want to seem as if I'm bragging or am afraid if I voice it out loud, he will turn around and do something to completely negate any of the positive uplifting things I said. With that said....I do want to let him and everyone else know that I see and notice all those choices and things that he does that make him truly special. He was born with a sense of compassion the likes I haven't seen since my dear mother left this earth...I can see her in him daily. He truly has a special spirit....even when he was a small child people that would spend time with him, would afterwards come up to us and say
that's a special kid and follow it with a little act or comment Jordan had done or said.
Of course every parent thinks their kid is special, and I do think all of mine are...but Jordan has a uniqueness all his own. As a baby, he was so very easy going and content to observe the world around him. He possesses a sense of intuition that even seems to outdo what I thought was one of my best abilities, knowing when someone is sad or hurt even if they put on a cheerful shell, he can see through it. Always he was willing to share and receive love and affection...he LOVED to be held and cuddled...we just couldn't bear to put him in a crib, and kept him with us until, well...fairly recently. He doesn't like to be alone and loves being a part of this family, although sometimes the responsibilities of being the oldest seem so unfair to him, although I always counter that he has more priveleges than his siblings, it still doesn't quite seem to even out for him.
In school, his teachers always remember him and you can tell he's a favorite...maybe not the student with the highest grades (although he's never NOT been on the honor roll), but he would be the one that could tell if the teacher was having a bad day and would ask her how she was, or to be the one to crack a joke at just the appropriate time, so that his teachers always told me what a joy it was to have him in their class. We still keep in touch with a few of his elementary teachers to this day. Now he's about to complete the seventh grade (did I just write that?) and is taking all honors classes in which he has excelled. We always said we would push our children to do their best and set their goals high...and we encourage him with the knowledge that we KNOW he can do anything, and he's never let us down.
OK my hands are starting to shake.... I see now that I'm losing him. More and more he wants to be with friends, all the signs are there. I'm comforted by the fact that we still have our little talks...about life, love, politics, science, religion, you name it...although, they are becoming less and less. Sometimes in my prayers, I choke up with the gratitude that I have to my Father in heaven for bestowing upon me and my husband this special spirit that is our son. That we were chosen to be his earthly parents and were entrusted to teach him the path back to live with Him again. That we have been blessed to love and be loved by this boy, soon to be man, is one of the most precious gifts that we could be given in this life....in short, it is.....
JOY. We have found it....here in this house, in our family, in our son...my son, my baby. Years I yearned for a daughter....never realizing that the relationship I was craving all that time, the special connection between me and my son is not even describable in words...it is something I would hope all women could experience, if not in this life, then in the next. So here's to all us mom's who have sons, and cringe at the thought of turning them loose someday to the cruel world outside...for a bit longer, at least, he's still mine and I cherish every moment. I found an old journal of mine the other day and wanted to share an excerpt..."March 10, 2000...(Jordan was 3 and a half)....Dear Journal, When I got out of work yesterday, Randy and the boys were waiting for me in the parking lot. He said they were done at the doctor's office early, so he thought he would stop by and see mom to surprise her. Jordan wanted to ride home in the car with me (Randy took Noah in the truck) and he talked to his mommy the whole ride home. I just love our little talks, he says..."Mommy? You are soooo booootiful! and Mommy? I your heart?? I tell him Mommy loves him SO much!! We even have a song we sing...(it's not the words, but really the way we sing it that is special)...it goes..."I love you so much, I love you so much, I can't even tell you how much I love yooooooouuuuuuuu...(big deep breath)...you're special to me, you're special to me....I love you so much and you're special to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" "-------reading this journal reminded me........that I can't remember the last time we sang this song together:(
