The tragedy of domestic violence...

So yesterday Randy was called into court to testify in a murder trial. The case involved a couple with a history of reported physical abuse and this past July ended when police were summoned to the residence to find the wife lying dead on the floor, stabbed repeatedly with a box cutter.

Now the defendant plead guilty, but Randy was called in by the DA to testify in the sentencing phase. Why? Because seven years ago in 2001, he responded to a 911 call at the same residence and dealt with this couple in an instance where she had been physically assaulted by the defendant. Randy took the man into custody, collected a statement from the woman, and took pictures of her bruises and injuries. At the courthouse, the DA told him she wanted to recount his experiences with them that night, and went on to tell him that police were called there more times over the next seven years, but that his arrest was the only one that produced enough evidence to charge him. The other times, they would show up and the woman would change her mind and decide not to press charges, because she didn't want him to go to jail. Now she is gone.

Talking to him last night about this experience, he expressed that he wished that when they respond to calls of this nature, the women (and sometimes men) would listen when the police tell them things could end much worse, even in death. They really have seen it happen time and again...they respond to these couples and warn them, until eventually someone has to leave or someone dies.

I have experience with the type of mindset these women are dealing with, and I can try to understand all the shades of grey that affect their decisions to endure the abuse. Many factors play their part, and often their self-esteem has become so low that they truly believe they can't make it on their own, or the thought of being alone scares them worse than the pain of abuse. When children are involved, the problems are compounded and hopeless is the only way she can think to describe her situation. As a result, unless they break the cycle, they will continue on to endure the pain until they die...or until their abuser dies.

Sorry about the lecture here, but this topic is very close to my heart in many ways and of the many legacys I hope to pass down to my children, would be to teach my sons to treat women and their wives with the utmost kindness, patience, reverence and love. And to likewise raise our daughters to seek out a mate with the same character traits that we hope to instill in our boys. And if they EVER find themselves in a situation where they are being abused, either mentally or physically, that we could raise them to have the courage to break free and never feel hopeless, no matter the outcome or what people may think of them. To teach them that God knows each of our hearts and will ultimately be the only judge that matters in the end.

Anyway, it reminds me how grateful I am to share my life with someone who has taught me that violence does not belong in a marriage, and he continually teaches me patience and humility, being a great example to our children of how a husband should treat his wife. Neither one of us is perfect, not by a SUPER long shot, but we have tried to break a cycle of dysfunction that existed in our lives before we came together, so that we may raise our children in peace.

Off my soapbox now, sorry to ramble...if you care to watch, here is the clip from last night's news story....Randy is on the stand toward the end of the clip. http://www.myfoxaustin.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=8298542&version=1&locale=EN-US