Jan 30, 2009
Jan 23, 2009
The tragedy of domestic violence...
So yesterday Randy was called into court to testify in a murder trial. The case involved a couple with a history of reported physical abuse and this past July ended when police were summoned to the residence to find the wife lying dead on the floor, stabbed repeatedly with a box cutter.
Now the defendant plead guilty, but Randy was called in by the DA to testify in the sentencing phase. Why? Because seven years ago in 2001, he responded to a 911 call at the same residence and dealt with this couple in an instance where she had been physically assaulted by the defendant. Randy took the man into custody, collected a statement from the woman, and took pictures of her bruises and injuries. At the courthouse, the DA told him she wanted to recount his experiences with them that night, and went on to tell him that police were called there more times over the next seven years, but that his arrest was the only one that produced enough evidence to charge him. The other times, they would show up and the woman would change her mind and decide not to press charges, because she didn't want him to go to jail. Now she is gone.
Talking to him last night about this experience, he expressed that he wished that when they respond to calls of this nature, the women (and sometimes men) would listen when the police tell them things could end much worse, even in death. They really have seen it happen time and again...they respond to these couples and warn them, until eventually someone has to leave or someone dies.
I have experience with the type of mindset these women are dealing with, and I can try to understand all the shades of grey that affect their decisions to endure the abuse. Many factors play their part, and often their self-esteem has become so low that they truly believe they can't make it on their own, or the thought of being alone scares them worse than the pain of abuse. When children are involved, the problems are compounded and hopeless is the only way she can think to describe her situation. As a result, unless they break the cycle, they will continue on to endure the pain until they die...or until their abuser dies.
Sorry about the lecture here, but this topic is very close to my heart in many ways and of the many legacys I hope to pass down to my children, would be to teach my sons to treat women and their wives with the utmost kindness, patience, reverence and love. And to likewise raise our daughters to seek out a mate with the same character traits that we hope to instill in our boys. And if they EVER find themselves in a situation where they are being abused, either mentally or physically, that we could raise them to have the courage to break free and never feel hopeless, no matter the outcome or what people may think of them. To teach them that God knows each of our hearts and will ultimately be the only judge that matters in the end.
Anyway, it reminds me how grateful I am to share my life with someone who has taught me that violence does not belong in a marriage, and he continually teaches me patience and humility, being a great example to our children of how a husband should treat his wife. Neither one of us is perfect, not by a SUPER long shot, but we have tried to break a cycle of dysfunction that existed in our lives before we came together, so that we may raise our children in peace.
Off my soapbox now, sorry to ramble...if you care to watch, here is the clip from last night's news story....Randy is on the stand toward the end of the clip. http://www.myfoxaustin.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=8298542&version=1&locale=EN-US
Now the defendant plead guilty, but Randy was called in by the DA to testify in the sentencing phase. Why? Because seven years ago in 2001, he responded to a 911 call at the same residence and dealt with this couple in an instance where she had been physically assaulted by the defendant. Randy took the man into custody, collected a statement from the woman, and took pictures of her bruises and injuries. At the courthouse, the DA told him she wanted to recount his experiences with them that night, and went on to tell him that police were called there more times over the next seven years, but that his arrest was the only one that produced enough evidence to charge him. The other times, they would show up and the woman would change her mind and decide not to press charges, because she didn't want him to go to jail. Now she is gone.
Talking to him last night about this experience, he expressed that he wished that when they respond to calls of this nature, the women (and sometimes men) would listen when the police tell them things could end much worse, even in death. They really have seen it happen time and again...they respond to these couples and warn them, until eventually someone has to leave or someone dies.
I have experience with the type of mindset these women are dealing with, and I can try to understand all the shades of grey that affect their decisions to endure the abuse. Many factors play their part, and often their self-esteem has become so low that they truly believe they can't make it on their own, or the thought of being alone scares them worse than the pain of abuse. When children are involved, the problems are compounded and hopeless is the only way she can think to describe her situation. As a result, unless they break the cycle, they will continue on to endure the pain until they die...or until their abuser dies.
Sorry about the lecture here, but this topic is very close to my heart in many ways and of the many legacys I hope to pass down to my children, would be to teach my sons to treat women and their wives with the utmost kindness, patience, reverence and love. And to likewise raise our daughters to seek out a mate with the same character traits that we hope to instill in our boys. And if they EVER find themselves in a situation where they are being abused, either mentally or physically, that we could raise them to have the courage to break free and never feel hopeless, no matter the outcome or what people may think of them. To teach them that God knows each of our hearts and will ultimately be the only judge that matters in the end.
Anyway, it reminds me how grateful I am to share my life with someone who has taught me that violence does not belong in a marriage, and he continually teaches me patience and humility, being a great example to our children of how a husband should treat his wife. Neither one of us is perfect, not by a SUPER long shot, but we have tried to break a cycle of dysfunction that existed in our lives before we came together, so that we may raise our children in peace.
Off my soapbox now, sorry to ramble...if you care to watch, here is the clip from last night's news story....Randy is on the stand toward the end of the clip. http://www.myfoxaustin.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=8298542&version=1&locale=EN-US
Jan 21, 2009
Most Attractive Quarterback?
Alright....you already know that we couldn't be more excited to have the Steelers going to the Superbowl!!!!! Woohooooooo!!!!!!!! But now we have football fans coming out of the woodwork telling us we are going to lose, Go Cardinals, Cardinals are cuter, etc.....We have so many friends from Arizona and I guess we will be the only ones rooting for the Steelers (except the Allens...thanks for taking pity on us;). So now this one friend and I have been debating back and forth over which quarterback is the most attractive, she said Kurt was cute, but didn't know what the Steelers quarterback looked like, so I sent her a comparison and she still likes Kurt. According to her, my allegiance to Pittsburgh is clouding my judgement....so she said I should put it to the blog and see what some other people think. My question....allegiances aside ladies....which quarterback is the hottest??? Leave a comment and let me know! GO STEELERS!!
Jan 12, 2009
New swimsuits in January?
Yep, that's right!! Part of our new year's resolutions this year is to get in shape and tone these old bodies!
We've been real lax in this department the last few months because of our move and the holidays, so my husband promptly went down and signed us up again at the YMCA (we canceled in September for the winter)....and with that means the kids can go to the indoor pool even in January and they LOVE it, even if we do have to completely dry them off in the locker room before we hit the cold air outside. Anyway, last week when we put the girls in their old swimsuits to go the pool, Avelyn's was way too stretched out from being worn ALL the time (she has a slight obsession with swimsuits) so since the spring lines are out in the stores, I decided to get her a new swimsuit and I just couldn't resist getting Emmy one too! I think they are cute and they can't wait to go swimming again in their new suits!!
Jan 11, 2009
Pittsburgh Proud!!
Today I have the happiest husband around...his team beat the San Diego Chargers and now get to play in the AFC championship against the Baltimore Ravens next week. I wish I had a video camera so I could show you this "other person" he becomes while watching his team play...it's really unbelievable. I just hope the neighbors don't think too badly about us bec
ause of all the noise. For some reason, the Pittsburgh Steelers have always been his team since way back to when he was a kid. I remember when we were dating he ALWAYS wore this white Steelers cap (see picture...oh, we were young!) and I should have known then what was to come. Over the years, I have become a huge fan myself and really enjoy the whole NFL season, my team being the Colts...but I always root for his team too, I have no choice...no one in this house can be anti-Pittsburgh;)This season has really been special to him though, because Jordan has started to really get into watching the games. It's amazing to me after all these years watching football with Randy, how Jordan knows so much more than I do after just becoming interested this one season. Maybe it's a guy thing..who knows? My husband could NOT be happier to A: have his team doing so well and to B: have his oldest son sit beside him (and sometimes next oldest son, although he can't make it a whole game) and cheer on his favorite team. Also, note the matching Steelers jerseys that momma had to track down through different sellers on ebay and cross my fingers they all made it before Dec. 25th...they are SO proud of those...now Randy wants one for Jonahbear too...even though at this point he could care less (he is majorly into "ROCKY"...that's another post;). GO STEELERS!!!
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